[She's had enough of this bullshit. She's dealing with mourning people right now, and the Master's pulling /this/? No. She wasn't allowing it. She goes over to him and wraps him in a tight embrace, nuzzling his neck, hoping to get some kind of a response out of him.] I wasn't kidding when I said that I loved you.
-The only response is a small sigh, and it might be excess breath from hugging him when he wasn’t actually expecting it.-
The Doctor sighed and stopped, moving towards him and taking his hand, and even that felt odd as he pulled him up right beside him, and moved towards the kitchen, only letting go as he moved towards the mugs, pulling out the tea and fixing it for himself, but left another on the counter, just in case.
He was pulled along like a child and thought nothing of it. While he normally would have wiped the hand on something to get it clean, he now did nothing of the sort. The Master glanced at the mug before continuing to watch the Doctor. It never occurred to him that it might be rather off-putting, as if he was just a security camera.
Either an ascetic personality is evident or you feel that you are steeling yourself for the difficulties ahead in life by withdrawing from the pleasures of the world. There is a feeling that hard work and dedication are what’s needed to solve your problems, and this can become a mania if satisfaction is not found in a reasonable time frame.
Pressure and stress have left you feeling that the best course of action is immediate freeing escape. You are frustrated and have begun to weaken from the effort of facing your day to day problems. Sometimes the problems of the day can seem to come from deliberate antipathy of those around you, although this is often imagined.
… that test actually terrified me. I was actually scared.
You feel both a sense that your problems are causing you stress and that these problems may be insurmountable, or at least that you are probably not likely to be able to solve them through shear force of will. You have the ability to emotionally and physically connect with others, which is often a release for your feelings of helplessness.
You desire escape from an unsatisfactory relationship or job situation. In all likelihood, you feel underappreciated and you hope for a change or for a way to improve cooperation. With your hopes for compatibility being frustrated, this relationship is beginning to seem like a burden and leaving you irritable and impatient.
…I think it’s time for me to go to bed.
You are manipulative and demanding, and you expect quite a lot out of a relationship, whether it be friendly or romantic. Furthermore, whether conscious or not, you have a tendency to mediate your attitude toward others in an attempt to get the better of those around you. You are very intelligent, but also suspicious.
An unsatisfying relationship is troubling you, due in all likelihood to a perceived lack of appreciation, or acknowledgement from superiors or loved ones. Questioning this judgement has lead to a modicum of introversion. You feel that you need assistance from others to repair the situation but are afraid that too much compromise will be seen as weakness. If this situation continues, you may feel the need to break away and redefine your own individuality.
If you are feeling anxious, it is probably not related to unfulfilled sexual needs or from an inability to connect with others. However by the same token you are extreemly emotional and quite sensitive to even the minor problems that you encounter. Difficulties in relationships tend to arise from a perceived lack of emotional harmony, which you can take as a personal insult.
You are feeling the stress that results from a sense of being constrained by life. Anger is present, in direct proportion to the degree to which you feel that you are powerless to change the conditions of your problem. You want to find freedom through escape and are actively seeking a path to independence, perhaps in dangerous ways.
He looked over just once at the Master as they flew, his hearts tearing in two. He… He was nothing more than a rag doll, being tossed about like that.
It was like his Master wasn’t even there. He pulled up into orbit, sighing out and rubbing his hands through his hair and over his face. “I’m getting tea. You want any” he said flatly, a little annoyed at this new Master that had followed him onto the TARDIS.
His tone told him that the Doctor wasn’t pleased at him. There would be no help coming from him. He’d be trapped like this for as long as it mattered. Maybe the Doctor would just finish him off and not bother to bring him back! He would finally lay in the Darkness until his Lady needed him. That thought alone made the smile on his face a true one. He sat up and said “no thank you” in a rather cheery tone.
“You’re happy. You were happy in that house until I showed up” he retorted, and moved to the console. He was confused, and more than a little scared at this change, and he wasn’t pleased. His brow knitted up and he sighed, working upon the console. Until he hesitated at the throttle, then pushed it in as if it hadn’t been a problem, silently praying the Master would yell at him to take him back.
Yet he didn’t yell. In fact he made no comment and his expression was unwavering. When they took off he made a half-hearted attempt to grab onto something, but mostly allowed the TARDIS to move him as it pleased.
“…what, is this some sort of silent treatment?” he laughed nervously, tossing his coat over the coral. He left the door open. He didn’t like the feeling of this, and when the Master didn’t respond for a second time, he frowned. “Please tell me what’s going on?”
Every question deserved an answer, so the Master replied with “I’m happy.” It wasn’t the most accurate thing in the universe, but he could make himself believe whatever he wanted now. He was a shell.
-Tears lined his eyes before he could stop them, and he let his head tilt down as if he was looking at the floor. He closed his eyes to attempt to block them from falling as a pain rose in his chest. This was something he hadn’t felt in a while, yet it was still more common than a more positive emotion.-
Even as he found his way to a parked TARDIS, he couldn’t help but shiver at the uneasy feeling that seemed to emanate from the Master’s presence. There was something off, something he didn’t like. But he ignored it for now, stepping into the TARDIS.
But he followed him.
“…I thought you were staying— You’re coming with me? After all that…giving you space stuff…?”
There was no comment from the Master, and he simply stood in the console room, waiting for his next command. That permanently content expression was directed directly at him, his cold eyes indirectly boring straight through his being.
All of--? ... Oh no. Did-- Oh... even the... the Doctor? Even him? /His grip was firm, but gentle. He didn't want to hurt the Master. Like he needed any of that./ God... what happened?
He’spleased. -With that he moved back into his shell, letting that painted-on expression return as if he was a painted doll that was still pleased to see someone after being stuck in an attic for decades on end.-
In his concentration of finding his way outside, the Doctor hadn’t noticed the Master behind him, but once he’d sensed his presence, he turned towards him. “Beautiful home you two had…” he said quietly. “Um…I’m. I shouldn’t intrude, I can get back to my TARDIS if you don’t want me to stay. You should call me sometime, just…when it’s good to come over. Don’t want to…Yeah.”
There was nothing to say to that.
There was nothing left to say, or explain, or ask.
Everything had already been in motion and had already been decided upon. As the Doctor entered his TARDIS, so did the Master. He wanted to change his socks, but there was no reason to. He’d need permission to do so anyway.
Fuck all of 'em! They don't matter! What do YOU want to be?! /He grabbed him by the shoulders and stared up at him./ What did they do to you?! Who did this to you?!
TimeLords…. allofthem. -He had no remark for being grabbed. It would have warranted at least a frown before, as he was used to hugs from the boy, not this.-
-Explaining what he wanted would have taken too long at this point, as there wasn’t much left to believe in. He’d wanted the universe so that he could put it in order and he was beaten back each time. Every time he gained, he lost even more. In fact he’d lost so much that the only thing left to lose were the drums and his consciousness. Everything else was gone or no longer had a meaning in his life.-
-He scratches the side of his head, all of the marks on his arms visible. No point in hiding them if there was no need to care about them anymore. The Time Lords had won, with the Doctor dealing the final blow. Nothing hurt anymore, and maybe he should be happy with that.-
-The Master does nothing more than sigh out and keep looking at him. Who he used to be is fighting to get out, but it being squelched by the need to find a way to survive after everything that had happened. This was the answer, wasn’t it?-
The Doctor woke the next morning after a much needed rest to find the Master, changed and atop the sheets. He thought it odd, but rolled out of the bed and stretched, before wandering towards the kitchen…if he could remember where it was. Fuck. With a sharp sigh, he ambled his way out and down the hall towards where he thought the kitchen was…
But he couldn’t just— Yeah, he could.
Unless it would set him off again.
Of course he’d asked him to stay the night, so that implied a need for tea in the morning.
But he couldn’t just tear through the kitchen to get it.
He sighed and took a left into the sitting room, and lo and behold, the kitchen! Brilliant. But still, his morals conflicted, the Doctor made his way to the back door and unlocked it, making his way out into the garden.
The Master hadn’t gone to sleep, so as the Doctor stood, he stood as well. He followed him out into the garden and stood behind him silently.
/Oh no. No, no, no. That smile doesn't look right at all. The kid can't quite place it, but he knows there's something wrong. The fact that the Master won't even say anything is enough to alert him of some sort of problem./ ... What's wrong?
-Makes no move to speak or take the tea from him. He simply watches and waits for instruction.-
Master? /He approaches him with a cup of tea, hands shaking slightly. He's trying to keep his new wings under control, and it's proving to be a terrible physical and mental challenge./ I, uh... um...
-His eyes dart to the wings he’d never had any luck at flying with, and there was a slight glimmer of something, as if the comment was already created in his mind. Yet his eyes went cold and slid from the wings, to the tea in the boy’s shaking hands, up to his face. He wore a cold expression with dead eyes, and a small smile plastered on his face as there was no need for anything else.-
The Doctor let out a sigh, relieved as he approached the bed and sat down, hands folded in his lap, ignorant of the defeat upon the other side of the mattress. It felt strange to be here, in such a domestic environment… And he knew the Master was right, he couldn’t stay in such a place. He needed the TARDIS, to travel, to be among the stars. But he was stay here tonight with him as per the Master’s request, and hopefully feel better in the morning. His stomach was still twisted into knots as he lay down, with his eyes towards the ceiling.
He crawled over to the Doctor and kissed him ever so softly before laying beside him. Once the other Time Lord appeared to be asleep the Master got up and dressed, heading out of the house and through the town to get to the TARDIS. He piloted it to be directly outside of the house and then started to pack. Only, he abandoned this halfway through and put everything back. His jumpers, coats, coat, and shirts were all cleaned and packed away and he put on a pair of normal brief underwear, grey sweatpants, and a rather baggy basic white t-shirt. After changing his socks he returned to bed and laid on his back above the blankets.
Had he been allowing himself feelings or opinions, he would have been sobbing. Yet if he had been allowing these things, this never would have happened anyway as he wouldn’t be broken.
The Doctor had occupied himself with staring out the window as the Master cleaned the glasses, and for a brief moment there was something like bliss. His daze was interrupted by the touch, and he followed the Master down the hallway, eyes catching on the door. Curiosity peaked, but he looked into the room lined with the Master’s scent and smiled a little. “Yeah… ‘less you wanna stay with me. I mean together. In a room. I can sleep somewhere else if not, it’s your room, after all” he rambled, coughing a little. “…thanks for the room.”
This was it. This was the end of everything he had been. This was the the right thing to do.
No one wanted him for who he was, or who he was trying to be, so why not just become what the Doctor wanted him to be. A robot that always obeyed without question, a doll for the dressing, a mirror for the showing. His expression changed and a contented expression was plastered onto his face. He fell silent when he changed into night clothes, recalling the one alternative he’d always feared as he slowly merged into being it.
The Master became the Slave.
…. and the more he thought about it, he started to realize that it had always been that way. He’d always been the Prisoner of Rassilon, the son of fate, and on top of that Death’s Champion, confirming that he would be tied to this for as long as he lived.
[He loves the man in his arms so fiercely that sometimes, the Doctor can hardly breathe for it. At times that passion burns out everything else he is and the only thing which remains is his Master. His soul is bare and exposed to this man, and the Doctor's starting to realize he wouldn't want it any other way.] Good. Because together is where we belong.
Is that really what you think? -comments the Master as he gives him a look. Before the Doctor can answer the expression fades into a calmed and trustworthy expression.-
I don’t mind being together with you. While I’m used to being alone, it’s always rather spectacular to have you near as opposed to who knows where. So I suppose I should thank you again, or allowing me my space, and understanding that, and still being around me, and allowing me to be around you instead of locked up somewhere like a pet.
Your alternate who brought back Gallifrey. He died today. And I knew it was going to happen, he'd had it planned for a while, but now it's actually happened and, [he forces himself to stop, before his words deteriorate into sobbing or nonsense.] Promise me. Promise me that even if you leave me, you won't go where I can't get to you.
-The Master says nothing for a long while as his frown deepens and he finds that he is blinking away tears. It was an odd concept to hear of yourself dying, yet here you were as if nothing was wrong. Another universe without a Master to rule over it. In a way he supposed that this was all right, because he was still here, but there was still this small pain in his hearts. ‘He’d planned it for a while’ kept echoing through his mind. Everything he could do, and yet so much more than he’d ever be able to ever truly do. He was tied here.-
-His eyes glance into the Doctor’s and solidify his last thought, but with a small modification. He was tied to his Doctor. A Doctor that allowed him his space, while always being there when he needed him. A Doctor that made life just that tad bit more exciting through bickering, and loving, and giving, and taking. His Theta Sigma. How could he deny him now?-
[He certainly isn't pleased at all. It's been a rough day and here at the end of it, he's utterly exhausted. He hugs the Master closer to him, something desperate and afraid in his grip.] Don't you ever go where I can't follow.
-The Master frowns and puts down the tools he was organizing to wiggle free from him only to turn around and face him. He allowed the man’s grip and put his hands on either side of the Doctor’s face with a concerned look on his own.-
He was quiet as the Master pulled away, a slight smile on his face as he watched him. He didn’t want to leave, though he was considering it until the Master suggested otherwise. “Yeah…I can stay” he repeated, taking another glance around the house. Little details that really denoted it as the Time Lord’s place of residence for a number of years. At this point there were a number of things he wanted to do, but he only followed him into the kitchen, looking out the window into the garden he’d left a week before.
"Then you’re welcome anywhere that doesn’t have a green door." he mused as he finished washing out the glasses and started drying them to put them back where they belonged. The Master then moved over to him and lightly touched his arm to get his attention before leading him out of the room. through a sitting room, down a hallway past a green door, and into the room at the end of the hall. It had been a guest room for most of its existence, but it was now being used as the Master’s room. "You could stay here if you like. If not, there are other rooms."
The Doctor wasn’t going to lie, he was a bit apprehensive putting arms around him, but as it was going better than expected, he pulled them together. Relief washed over him as he pressed a chaste kiss to the side of the Master’s head, and they stood in blissful silence for a while. And when the Master spoke, his chest fluttered a bit before he nods. “Always” he whispers, closing his eyes and inhaling him. He kept his feelings mostly to himself though, not wanting to force anything upon the Master at this point. “And Master? Thank you…”
"I don’t deserve thanks. I haven’t done anything worth a thank you." he said as he remained quiet until the Doctor started to talk, at which time he interrupted him and pulled away. "You should stay here tonight. It’s late and the TARDIS is quite a walk away. You don’t know what wandering around out there until it’s a bit too late." he said, making excuses for him as he straightened to his full height and picked up the glasses.
“Don’t you think I regret that now?” he said just as quietly, his hand on his arm as he moved closer to him. “I missed you. I did, but after I… I was a coward. I couldn’t come back… I was selfish as well, and I’m just…” He couldn’t say much else as he hung his head low and sighed, arms moving around him. It had taken him three hundred years on his own to realize how much the Master meant to him, and how he’d been a fool. A right idiot, and one that didn’t deserve the Master in any way. Maybe to be something below him, but not as a lover, and he couldn’t find the words to tell him. ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t good enough…
“Please forgive me”
He sighed out jaggedly and pressed himself into the arms that were wrapping around him after hearing the request. “All right.” he said quietly, turning his head to fit in the crook of his neck.
"Only if you forgive me as well." stated the Master after a few minutes of the quiet stillness that was often found in the house. It was spectacularly perfect for listening to the drums at any time, really. Someday he’d be completely back to his old self. All of the phobias and nightmares would seem like a joke and he’d be back in power. Yet for now his largest concern was finding a happy medium between someone who needed to constantly travel and another who needed stability who would be more than happy to have a move every few decades.
“It’s always meant something to me!” he said, fighting back his own emotions. “All my life, you’ve been the greatest presence. I-I don’t want to fight. I don’t want us to grow apart because I’ve loved you since the day I met you. You were my first friend that I wanted to spend every day with… I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want us to fall apart…”
He made careful steps towards him, reaching out to touch him. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was to see the Master cry, and the fact he’d been the cause of it only made his stomach knot and turn.
The Master only slumped and held his arms to his chest when the Doctor approached him. “Maybe at the Academy you were like that,” he said softly, “but after that argument everything changed. You left and I waited for so long that they eventually hired me to go after you and bring you back. I didn’t, and that put me at renegade status. Then you let me be killed twice. I’m sorry, but if you didn’t want us to be apart or fight, and if you didn’t want to hurt me, and if I’ve been the ‘greatest presence’ in your life, then you wouldn’t have let everything happen. You’d have helped me before I truly needed it, and before I could even deny it and abhor you with all of my being.”
All of this was said in a low, calm voice and he sniffled again as he turned away from him with a small frown on his face. It was starting to stick with age, giving him a rather unapproachable appearance.
“Wh— No!” He started, but he couldn’t get in enough to actually speak. “Master. Please just listen!! The way you’re saying what— I don’t mean what you think I mean!” No, nono, he wasn’t going to lose the only friend who could actually stay with him. He couldn’t do that. “Master, I care for you. I love you, I would die for you. And… I think you deserve to be happy. I’ve been here, blindly going about with what I want for you, the over-bearing one. And I’m sorry…” he said, wiping eyes. “I feel like I’m losing you, and that terrifies me… More than drowning, dying, losing you would be the worst thing to me”
“Why?” he asked in a shaking voice. ‘Oh, come now idiot don’t start now. Don’t you dare start cry- oh, you’re a fucking idiot, you are.’ he cursed himself as tears came to his eyes in frustration. “I don’t see how losing me would suddenly mean something to you. It’s never meant anything to you before, and it’s like you’re bloody lying to me! All these months, I just can’t help it! What do you want? What are you trying to get?! Do you want to punish me too? Why else would you get me to trust you? Why else would everything I’ve felt for you suddenly be allowed?”
He set his empty glass down and pressed his sleeved hands to his face, sniffling as he started to shake ever so slightly.
-She rolls her eyes, and mimes zipping her mouth theatrically. Bloody hell, Koschei had been right about alternative Masters being grumpy. She made an over the top bow at him as he walked on his way, trying not to giggle.-
-Ignores her as he was facing the other way and had not seen any of the gestures. He had his reasons for being overly defensive and if others thought that inconsiderate, then that was a problem that they would have to deal with themselves.-
I thought I threw that bloody woman out months ago. If you know what she is and you’re asking me about her, then you’ve obviously met her lately. She somehow snuck into the TARDIS, and was there for about a day before I’d had enough. I set the randomizer and flung her out, taking off before she could have a say in the matter.
I was hoping that she ended up on some planet where they would have eaten her, but apparently not. Where is she, I’ll go place her where I thought she was the entire time.
Ko! Koschei! Why'd you walk right past me....? OhshitIdiditagain.
You will refrain from calling me by that name. We are neither friends, nor colleagues. That being said I do not know who you think you are, or why you believe you can approach me in this manner. Please rethink your actions and hold your tongue. Bye-bye!
It was just a little fight, not like it’s a big matter. That’s all. Small fight. Just domestics, that’s … all.
Mm…. domestics. Never the most important thing in the universe, but it’s those little details that can sway anything. One woman was killed during a peaceful march, France rebels. The boy tells one too many lies and no one believes him, leaving him to die at the teeth and claws of a wolf.
Never underestimate the power of the small, especially if they can be lead to believe whatever you want them to. Tell me, Miss Cooper. What are you hoping to gain from this?
I’ve had so much already eat me from inside out like acid and bother me. Not like this little thing will hurt me. Sometimes I bottle, sometimes I let it out. and I will, i’m probably will keep myself hidden until everything boils down. Like always. but probably not attack. ‘m not attacking anything. I’ve done enough tonight.
If that’s the way you see it, then so be it. I can’t say that it’s your best choice at the moment, but neither can I say that it’s the worst. I’m just a bystander in the matter…. though, if you go after them like a little twat that wants everything to magically be all right, I will come after you and make you stop. Stand up for yourself like you always do. There’s no harm in being independent and on your own.
Why bury yourself when you can just bury your problems. Though sometimes, it helps to bury the problem makers. Occasionally, it’s even more helpful to do that literally.
It’s honestly not that easy, Master. Just … isn’t. and no to all of that.
If you were to live as long as I have, you’d find that if you don’t bury them that they eat away at your insides until you’re just a hollow shell with a noise inside. You wouldn’t have that glorious noise echoing through you, of course, but you’d be so empty. Don’t let that happen to yourself. Take aim, and attack in a manner that leaves you looking like the good one until everything boils down. Keep yourself hidden until matters need to be taken into your own hands in a more visual manner.
He smiles a little as he forces himself to stand properly, pulling down the front of his jacket. “Maybe I was too focused on myself for that. Maybe I didn’t want to be like them, and in trying to help you through that, I became them. And I’m sorry” he said, taking the drink from him and raising it to his. The chiming of the glasses was too cheery for such a moment, but it didn’t stop him from taking a sip and grimacing at the welcome burn. “But its your choice now. It’s no longer the Time Lords, it’s just you. You want order in the universe? Fine. Though I’m not going to stop you if you want five cats and to knit potholders all day either” he smiles a bit, taking another sip. “The point is, it’s your life. I shouldn’t try to dictate it and you should be living it how you want to”
A smile arose on his face when it sounded as if the Doctor was going to allow him to finally go through every planet and take it over, eventually claiming the universe as his. Yet it faded into a deep frown by the end of his sentence. “Everything I say or do, you bash it down that idiotic tone. You say the words, but the meaning is completely different. I really wish that I’d just stayed in the Time Lord sometimes, you know that? Then I wouldn’t have to be forced into being stuck somewhere with you and your rubbish kids. How are they going to survive Doctor? One bloody TARDIS and you seem to think that every Time Lord should be in there under your rule. It’s like we’v- no, no I think I’ll stop there. Save some scrap of decency for the next time you come clawing back into my life. I refuse to chase after you anymore, Doctor. Over nine hundred years…. I just want someone to care for me the way I care about them. I want to get better so that I can plan properly and go after what I want. What I’ve always wanted, because unlike you, I haven’t lost sight of that independent goal.”